People Can Relate To Someone Who Isn't

I'm Never Home. I Miss Birthdays. I Miss Holidays. I Miss Anniversaries. I Miss Special Moments. I'm Not Always There For Important Times, Because I'm Out On The Road Trying To Make People Laugh. I Give Up My Privacy. I Give Up The Ability To Walk Somewhere And Relax.

When I First Got To St. Louis, I Saw The Arch And I Said, 'i Want To Go To That Mcdonalds.

If I Speak Spanish In My Show, Which Sometimes I Do, I Translate What I Say. I Make It Where I Can Still Be Myself, But I Make It To Where Everybody Knows What The Hell Is Going On And When Everyone Leaves, They're Like "ok, I Get It."

I Just Know You Can Not Be On Top Forever. There's Always Going To Be The Next Guy, And If I'm Going To Go Down, I'd Like To Know I Helped The Next Guy Take My Spot. You Can't Prevent The Inevitable, But You Can Join The Ship.

I'm Not Fat. It's Just My Awesomeness Swelling Up Inside Of Me.