[people] Are Woefully Underestimating This Country And

I Want To Offer Particular Congratulations To Andrea Leadsom On Her Stunning Achievement. She Is Now Well Placed To Win And Replace The Absurd Gloom In Some Quarters With A Positive, Confident And Optimistic Approach, Not Just To Europe, But To Government All Round.

I Want You To Know That I Have Nothing Against Orlando, Though You Are, Of Course, Far More Likely To Get Shot Or Robbed There Than In London.

Ping-pong Was Invented On The Dining Tables Of England In The 19th Century, And It Was Called Wiff-waff! And There, I Think, You Have The Difference Between Us And The Rest Of The World. Other Nations, The French, Looked At A Dining Table And Saw An Opportunity To Have Dinner; We Looked At It An Saw An Opportunity To Play Wiff-waff.

If Gay Marriage Was Ok ... Then I Saw No Reason In Principle Why A Union Should Not Be Consecrated Between Three Men, As Well As Two Men; Or Indeed Three Men And A Dog.

It Is Said That The Queen Has Come To Love The Commonwealth, Partly Because It Supplies Her With Regular Cheering Crowds Of Flag-waving Picaninnies; And One Can Imagine That Blair, Twice Victor Abroad But Enmired At Home, Is Similarly Seduced By Foreign Politeness. They Say He Is Shortly Off To The Congo. No Doubt The Ak47s Will Fall Silent, And The Pangas Will Stop Their Hacking Of Human Flesh, And The Tribal Warriors Will All Break Out In Watermelon Smiles To See The Big White Chief Touch Down In His Big White British Taxpayer-funded Bird.