Only The Nerds Will Save The Earth.

First Of All, I Wish I Could Grow A Beard.

Most People Presume My Mustache Is Not Real Because It's Much Darker Than My Regular Hair.

I've Only Ever Been Mistaken For Myself. People Draw A Lot Of Comparisons To All Of The Round-faced, Mustached Men Of Entertainment That Make Me Cringe And Sick To My Stomach About How The World Really Sees Me And They're Right.

As You Know, The Thing That I Know The Least About Is The Topic Of Sports.

John Wilkes Booth And Lee Harvey Oswald Meet In Hell And Team Up To Assassinate Satan.