One Great Thing About Getting Old Is

I Never Took Reds Or Quaaludes To Balance Out The Coke. So When It Got To Be Four In The Morning And The Gram Was Three Quarters Gone, I'd Start Wishing It Was Nine O'clock And Hoping The Guy Got Up Early. But, Of Course, He Didn't Sleep Either, So There Was No Sweat. During All Those Years, I Was Always Looking Forward To The Next Snort Or The Next Guy I Could Score From.

Tits Always Look Better In A Pink Sweater.

I Set Out To Become A Comedian, And I Said In Order To Do That The First Thing I'll Do Is Become A Disc Jockey And Know My Pop Music. I Like It, My Voice Is Good, And I Can Start Out Getting Confidence Without An Audience In Front Of Me.

Bowling Is Not A Sport Because You Have To Rent The Shoes. When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? This Title Offends All Three Major Religions, And Even Vegetarians!

I'll Bet There Aren't Too Many People Hooked On Crack Who Can Play The Bagpipes.