Oh Satan You're A Wily One.

The Meeting With Prince William Took Place At The White House Because Prince William Wanted To See Where The President Spent His Days, But The Golf Course Was Covered In Snow.

Halloween's Eve Is Also Known As Mischief Night. Kids Are Supposed Go Around Playing Pranks Tonight. That's Great, Just What Teenagers Need -- Another Excuse To Be Jerks.

I Don't Know Why Some People Get Worked Up About Gay People Marrying. It's Not Gay People Who Are Ruining The Sanctity Of Marriage, It's Celebrities.

Now That Healthcare Is Guaranteed, I'm Frying Everything I Eat. Fried Food And Cigarettes.

It Turns Out That Speeding Irresponsibly In A Large Truck, Placing Personal Wealth Ahead Of The Welfare Of Others, Is One Of The Greatest Sins In The Universe.