Oh, Am I Wearing An Ascot? I

When I Bet On Horses, I Never Lose. Why? I Bet On All The Horses.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

I Have No Interest In Art. Let Me Clarify — I Have No Interest In Non-nude Images.

I Prefer Being Totally Sober Myself.

I Know When Someone That's Not You Tries To Tell Your Story, Especially When You Don't Look Like The Person Whose Story You're Trying To Tell, You're Going To Screw It Up. And The Only Way To Get It Right Is To Have Them Be As Involved As Possible.