Nyarlathotep . . . The Crawling Chaos

Life Is A Hideous Thing.

I Am Perfectly Confident That I Could Never Adequately Convey To Any Other Human Being The Precise Reasons Why I Continue To Refrain From Suicide - The Reasons, That Is, Why I Still Find Existence Enough Of A Compensation To Atone For Its Dominantly Burthensome Quality.

Some Of Us Awake In The Night With Strange Phantasms Of Enchanted Hills And Gardens, Of Fountains That Sing In The Sun, Of Golden Cliffs Overhanging Murmuring Seas, Of Plains That Stretch Down To Sleeping Cities Of Bronze Andstone, And Of Shadowy Companies Of Heroes That Ride Caparisoned White Horsesalong The Edges Of Thick Forests, And Then We Know That We Have Looked Backthrough The Ivory Gates Into That World Of Wonder That Was Ours, Before We Were Wise And Unhappy.

What I Used To Respect Was Not Really Aristocracy, But A Set Of Personal Qualities Which Aristocracy Then Developed Better Than Any Other System . . . A Set Of Qualities, However, Whose Merit Lay Only In A Psychology Of Non-calculative, Non-competitive Disinterestedness, Truthfulness, Courage, And Generosity Fostered By Good Education, Minimum Economic Stress, And Assumed Position, And Just As Achievable Through Socialism As Through Aristocracy.

All I Say Is That I Think It Is Damned Unlikely That Anything Like A Central Cosmic Will, A Spirit World, Or An Eternal Survival Of Personality Exist. They Are The Most Preposterous And Unjustified Of All The Guesses Which Can Be Made About The Universe, And I Am Not Enough Of A Hair-splitter To Pretend That I Don't Regard Them As Arrant And Negligible Moonshine. In Theory I Am An Agnostic, But Pending The Appearance Of Radical Evidence I Must Be Classed, Practically And Provisionally, As An Atheist.