Now I Have New Stories And I

If My Mom Came Here Today, She'd Probably Join This Red-hat Brigade. My Mother Got My Sense Of Humor, Even When I Was A Kid. I Would Just Do Things That Tickled My Fancy In The Moment, And She Would Ask Me Who I Was Entertaining. I'd Say, 'well, Me.' And She Would Tell Me That Nobody Knew That And They Thought I Was Psychotic. Well, I Don't Ever Want People To Think I'm Psychotic, But I Can't Help Myself From Doing These Things.

I've Decided To Get Into Shape, And The Shape I've Selected Is A Triangle.

It's Really Not That Hard. If I Do A Tonight Show, It's Six Or Seven Minutes. If I Do A Concert, It's 90 Minutes. If I Do An Interview, That's 15 Minutes. So By The End Of The Day I've Done Three Hours Worth Of Work.

My Whole Life Is A Practical Joke. Every Evening And Every Show Has Really Become About Entertaining Me. I Was Always Like That. And Now I've Come Full Circle Because That's What The Tv Show Is Too.

If I'm A Game Show Host, Will Someone Buy A Ticket To See Me Do Standup? If I'm A Game Show Host, Will I Get An Offer To Do A Dramatic Role In A Movie?