Nothing Is More Vintage Than Dying Of

I Can't Be Gay! I'm A Happily Married Conservative, Just Like Ted Haggard And Larry Craig.

This Is America. I Don't Want A Tomato Picked By A Mexican. I Want It Picked By An American, Then Sliced By A Guatemalan And Served By A Venezuelan In A Spa Where A Chilean Gives Me A Brazilian.

There's An Old Saying About Those Who Forget History. I Don't Remember It, But It's Good.

Brb, Ttyl Ok? Wow, I Saved A 'ton' Of Time With Those Acronyms.

A New Study Shows That Having A Severe Phobia Can Hasten Aging. But What If My Greatest Fear Is Aging?!?