Not By Accident, You May Be Sure,

What Is The Function That A Clergyman Performs In The World? Answer: He Gets His Living By Assuring Idiots That He Can Save Them From An Imaginary Hell.

All I Ask Is Equal Freedom. When It Is Denied, As It Always Is, I Take It Anyhow.

For Every Problem, There Is A Solution That Is Simple, Neat, And Wrong.

Elections Are Futures Markets In Stolen Property.

The Basic Fact About Human Existence Is Not That It Is A Tragedy, But That It Is A Bore. It Is Not So Much A War As An Endless Standing In Line.