No One Is Depressed When They're Being

If You're A Guy, You Have Absolutely No Idea What's Going On At Any Time In The Relationship, Ever. Here's What You Know: You Know When You're Getting Laid, And You Know When It's All Over. Those Are The Only Two Things You're Aware Of.

I Like The Freedom Of Podcasting. With Podcasting You Can Really Mess Around With The Form And The Format. You Can Do As Much Time As You Like Without Having To Pause For Commercials.

I Know Everything Because I Know Nothing.

The Reason Why You Know More Funny Dudes Than Funny Chicks Is That Dudes Are Funnier Than Chicks. If My Daughter Has A Mediocre Sense Of Humor, I'm Just Gonna Tell Her, "be A Staff Writer For A Sitcom. Because They'll Have To Hire You, They Can't Really Fire You, And You Don't Have To Produce That Much. It'll Be Awesome."

I'm Not Sexist, I'm Just A Realist.