No One Ever Mentioned It, But Thousands

I Became A Hero To Everyone Because I Didn't Take Dialysis And Was Still Alive.

... I Could Have Said Something Profound, But You Would Have Forgotten It In 15 Minutes - Which Is The Afterlife Of A Graduation Speech.

I Earned My Stripes As A Marine, And The Corps Gets Full Credit For Straightening Me Out. At 17, I Was Young, I Was Unhappy And Most Of All, I Was Undisciplined. The Marine Corps Was The Right Service In The Right Place At The Right Time.

When I Got To The Hospice I Was Under The Impression It Would Be A Two- Or Three-week Stay. But Here I Still Am, Six Weeks Later, And I've Gotten So Well Medicare Won't Pay For Me Anymore.

I Don't Mind 800 Million Chinese Drinking A Bottle [of Coca-cola] A Day, But I Don't Want Them To Bring Back The Empties.