Never Underestimate The Bad Taste Of The

He Who Eats Alone Chokes Alone.

If I Ever Mary, It Will Be On A Suddn Impulse - As Aman Shoots Himself

To Be Happy One Must Be (a) Well Fed, Unhounded By Sordid Cares, At Ease In Zion, (b) Full Of A Comfortable Feeling Of Superiority To The Masses Of One's Fellow Men, And (c) Delicately And Unceasingly Amused According To One's Taste. It Is My Contention That, If This Definition Be Accepted, There Is No Country In The World Wherein A Man Constituted As I Am - A Man Of My Peculiar Weakness, Vanities, Appetites, And Aversions - Can Be So Happy As He Can Be In The United States.

The Saddest Life Is That Of A Political Aspirant Under Democracy. His Failure Is Ignominious And His Success Is Disgraceful.

Whenever A Reporter Is Assigned To Cover A Methodist Conference, He Comes Home An Atheist.