Never Slap A Man Who's Chewing Tobacco.

It's No Laughing Matter Being A Republican In These Perilous Times. Anyone Can Be A Republican When The Stock Market Is Up, But When Stocks Are Selling For No More Than They're Worth, I Tell You, Being A Republican - It's A Sacrifice.

There Have Been Three Great Inventions Since The Beginning Of Time: Fire, The Wheel, And Central Banking.

Too Many People Spend Money They Haven't Earned To Buy Things They Don't Want To Impress People They Don't Like.

The Bankers Just Got A Good Cussing By Everybody For Loaning Too Much Money. Well, They Got Some Awful Nice Buildings. So When A Banker Fails, He Fails In Splendor.

The Man With The Best Job In The Country Is The Vice-president. All He Has To Do Is Get Up Every Morning And Say, 'how Is The President?'