Never Look On The Bright Side. The

As The Only Class Distinction Available In A Democracy, The College Degree Has Created A Caste Society As Rigid As Ancient India's. Condemning Elitism And Simultaneously Quaking In Fear That Our Children Won't Become Members Of The Elite, We Send Them To College, Not To Learn, But To "be" College Graduates, Rationalizing Our Snobbery With The Cliché That High Technology Has Eliminated The Need For The Manual Labor That We Secretly Hold In Contempt.

Episcopalians Have Always Preferred The Flying Buttress To The Pillar Of The Church.

Spinsterhood Is Nature's Own Feminism.

There's No National Glue Holding Us Together Because Somebody Put Too Much Pluribus In The Unum.

To A Southerner It Is Faux Pas, Not Sins, That Matter In This World.