Never Look On The Bright Side. The

Golf Is An Exercise In Scottish Pointlessness For People Who Are No Longer Able To Throw Telephone Poles At Each Other.

A Woman Must Wait For Her Ovaries To Die Before She Can Get Her Rightful Personality Back. Post-menstrual Is The Same As Pre-menstrual; I Am Once Again What I Was Before The Age Of Twelve: A Female Human Being Who Knows That A Month Has Thirty Day, Not Twenty-five, And Who Can Spend Every One Of Them Free Of The Shackles Of That Defect Of Body And Mind Known As Femininity.

For Men Who Want To Flee Family Man America And Never Come Back, There Is A Guaranteed Solution: Homosexuality Is The New French Foreign Legion.

Real Feminism Is Spinsterhood. It's Time America Admitted That Old Maids Give All Women A Good Name.

The American Woman's Concept Of Marriage Is A Clearly Etched Picture Of Something Uninflated On The Floor. A Sleeping-bag Withoutair, A Beanbag Without Beans, A Padded Bra Without Pads. To Work On It, You Start Pumping--what The Magazines Call "breathing Life Into Your Marriage." Do Enough Of This And The Marriage Becomes A Kind Of Banquo's Ghost, A Quasi-living Entity.