My Mind Works . . . Two

Before You Try To Keep Up With The Joneses, Be Sure They're Not Trying To Keep Up With You.

My Kids Always Perceived The Bathroom As A Place Where You Wait It Out Until All The Groceries Are Unloaded From The Car.

My Second Favorite Household Chore Is Ironing. My First Being Hitting My Head On The Top Bunk Bed Until I Faint.

I Was Terrible At Straight Items. When I Wrote Obituaries, My Mother Said The Only Thing I Ever Got Them To Do Was Die In Alphabetical Order.

Kids Need Love The Most When They're Acting Most Unlovable.