My Life Is Brillant, My Love Is

I Used To Have An Ebay Addiction. I Was Really Good At Selling Stuff. My Sister Needed To Get To A Funeral In Ireland - The Airlines Were On Strike - So I Listed Her On Ebay: Damsel In Distress. Guys Were Outbidding Guys To Be The Hero And Help Her. A Guy Who Owned A Helicopter Won.

If The Army Helped Towards My Tuition Fees I Would Then Give Them Four Years Of My Life.

Things Take A Long Time, But When It's Right Things Move Fast.

I Guess If You're Stupid Enough To Join The Army Without Thinking About Getting Shot At, Then You Really Are A Fool.

I Always Wanted To Be A Muppet.