My Heart Is Empty & My Life

My Love For Him Had Never Gone Away But Only Changed, Growing Deeper Like Wine Fermenting Or Pickles Curing. It Bore Into Me With The Pervasiveness Of Water Working Its Way To The Center Of A Mountain.

A Laotong Relationship Is Made By Choice...when We First Looked In Each Other's Eyes In The Palanquin I Felt Something Special Pass Between Us--like A Spark To Start A Fire Or A Seed To Grow Rice. But A Single Spark Is Not Enough To Warm A Room Nor Is A Single Seed Enough To Grow A Fruitful Crop. Deep Love--true-heart Love--must Grow.

The Classics Tell Us That, In Relationships, The One Between Teacher And Student Comes Second Only To The One Between Parent And Child.

I Am Still Learning About Love. I Thought I Understood It--not Just Mother Love, But The Love For One's Parents, For One's Husband, And For One's Laotong. I've Experienced The Other Types Of Love--pity Love, Respectful Love And Gratitude Love. But Looking At Our Secret Fan With Its Messages Written Between Snow Flower And Me Over Many Years, I See That I Didn't Value The Most Important Love--deep-heart Love.

How Can We Not Create A Fantasy In Our Minds When The Reality Is So Hard?