My Handicap? Man, I Am A One-eyed,

My Handicap? Man, I Am A One-eyed, Black Jew! That's My Handicap!

After I Decided To Become A Jew, Only Then Did I Learn That The Jews Don't Have All The Money. When I Found Out Rockefeller And Ford Were Goyim, I Almost Resigned.

When Liza Minelli Was A Child, She Used To Sit On My Lap And Call Me Uncle Sammy.

I Don't Have Many Easy Songs.

You Have To Be Able To Look Back At Your Life And Say, "yeah, That Was Fun."