My First Injury Ever Was A Broken

Look At My Face. Does It Look Like I Can Take A Good Hit?

I Had A Certificate That Said, 'doctor Of Mixology, Harvard University,' That I Actually Got From Harvard University. A Friend Of Mine Was A Research Assistant Over There And It Was One Of Those Student Or University Perks And She Brought Me In On That. So I Am A Doctorate From Harvard And It Only Took Me One Afternoon.

I Did What Sports Were Supposed To Be Like, And I Was Living In My Car. So You Know What, Fine. I'm Gonna Talk A Bunch Of Sh*t. I'm Gonna Pose In A Couple Of Pictures. And I'm Gonna Break A Couple Of Girl's Arms, And I'm Not Gonna Feel The Least Bit Sorry About It Because You Know What? At Least I Can Feed My Dog.

There Have Been Times In My Adolescence Where I Gave Up. I Was Like, 'i'm Just Never Going To Be Pretty. I'm Never Going To Be Like One Of Those People On The Front Of Magazines.' It Always Seemed Really Strange To Me That The Projection Of How People Are In Advertisements Looked Nothing Like The People Who Were Actually Buying Them. You Know What I Mean? I Never Understood That Mismatch, And Now I Really Start To See That The People You See In The Media Are A Lot More Like People Actually Are.

It Was A Very Bold Step For Sports Illustrated, And A Lot Of People Are Taking Notice. I Want It To Be So Normal That People Don't Even Notice Anymore.