My First Car Was A Motorcycle.

California Is Like The Hot Blond High School Chick Who's Been Getting By On Her Looks, But Now She's 45 And Falling Apart.

Rich People Don't Pay Taxes? Of Course They Pay Taxes - They Pay Tons In Taxes. They Pay For Everyone Else Who Doesn't Pay Taxes.

Everyone Keeps Saying, "oh My God, Oh My God, How Intimidating." It's Like Saying, "how Could You Date Jennifer Aniston After She's Been With Brad Pitt?" I Don't Care.

The Main Thing That I Learned From My Horrible Job Experiences Was How Horrible They Were.

I Think Comedy Has Evolved Like Every Art Form, And People Probably Do Less Standing Around And Telling Jokes, And More Things That Have To Do With Reality.