My First Car Was A Motorcycle.

That's An Interesting Philosophical Question. When Your Boner Goes Away, Is That One Gone... Forever?

Wearing Crocs Is Like Getting Blown By A Dude. It Feels Great Until You Look Down And Realize You're Gay.

Oprah Tells Women What To Read, What To Eat, What To Think, What To Do.

Welfare Is Monetary Methadone.

If In 1989 I Said, 'i Have An Idea: Bottle Water And Sell It. And Charge More Than A Beer,' They Would Have Chased Me Around With A Giant Butterfly Net. The Same With Paying To Watch A Television Station.