My Father Left Ireland Because He Did

Charlotte Rampling, When She Was Younger, Looked Exactly Like My Wife. That's One Of The Reasons That When I First Saw My Wife, My Knees Buckled. Based On Her Looks Alone, She Was Already In My Kitchen Making Eggs.

You Get To A Certain Point, Especially If You're A Comedian, Where People Think Certain Things. It's Like, I Don't Take The Time To Explain It To People, It's Just Part Of What I Do.

Most Movies Suck, Even The Independent Ones. Hollywood Is Like Baseball: Hit Three Good Ones Out Of 10 And You're A Hall Of Famer.

I'm Gonna Get One Of Those Tracheotomies, So I Can Smoke Two Cigarettes At The Same Time! I'm Gonna Get Nine Tracheotomies, All Around My Neck, I'll Be Tracheotomy Man! He Can Smoke A Pack At A Time, He's Tracheotomy Man!

Most People Don't Know How Underpaid And Often Ill-equipped Urban Fire Departments Are Across North America.