My Dream Is To Have A Gay

In The Past, I've Thrown Myself Into Work So Much There's Been Very Little Room For Anything Else.

When I Go To One Of Those Singles Dating Parties I Believe Myself To Be A Bowl Of Fruit. When I Talk To Potential Dates, I Judge Them By The Smile In Their Lips, Their Smoothness Of Speech, And The Whiteness Of Teeth; Then I Offer Them The Appropriate Fruit, Which Is Usually A Lemon.

I Didn't Go Nightclubbing Much As A Teenager In Bournemouth Because My Friends And I Didn't Have The Money - But We Spent A Lot Of Time On The Beach, Having Barbecues, And Running Into The Sea In The Middle Of The Night.

My Mum Loves Cats So I Took Her To See The Lion Cubs Which At About A Year Old Are Actually Quite Big. She Wasn't Scared At All And Went Straight Over And Kissed One On The Mouth! She Thought They Were Just Like Her Pets At Home.

My Dream Is To Have A Gay Son.