My Doctor Told Me I Should Get

You Don't Really See Ugly People That Are Old, Or A Bit Grotty And Smelly, In The Media. If A Martian Came Down, They Would Think We Were All Tall, Thin, Attractive And Wealthy.

I Like To Read My Diary Occasionally To Remind Myself What A Miserable, Alienated Old Sod I Used To Be.

There Are Two Types Of People In This World: One Who Opens A Packet Of Biscuits, Has One And Puts The Rest Back In The Cupboard, And One Who Eats The Whole Packet In One Go.

Jeremy Clarkson Is Rather Charming, But I Can't Stomach His Public Persona. I Don't Like His Casual Racism And Casual Misogyny.

Suffice To Say, Many Women Find Their First Appearance On A Comedy Panel Show To Be Their Last. Second Chances Seem To Be Given Less Often To The Female Of The Species.