Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After;

I Never Know What To Get My Father For His Birthday. I Gave Him A Hundred Dollars And Said, 'buy Yourself Something That Will Make Your Life Easier.' So He Went Out And Bought A Present For My Mother.

If A Man Prepares Dinner For You And The Salad Contains Three Or More Types Of Lettuce, He Is Serious.

I Admire The Pope. I Have A Lot Of Respect For Anyone Who Can Tour Without An Album.

It Takes Six Months To Get Into Shape And Two Weeks To Get Out Of Shape. Once You Know This You Can Stop Being Angry About Other Things In Life And Only Be Angry About This.

I Know I Want To Have Children While My Parents Are Still Young Enough To Take Care Of Them.