Most Of An Award-show Host's Job Is

It’s The Same With People Who Say, ‘whatever Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger.’ Even People Who Say This Must Realize That The Exact Opposite Is True. What Doesn’t Kill You Maims You, Cripples You, Leaves You Weak, Makes You Whiny And Full Of Yourself At The Same Time. The More Pain, The More Pompous You Get. Whatever Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Incredibly Annoying.

In The Old Days, When A Star Left A Still-thriving Hit Show, They'd Celebrate By Killing Him Or Her Off. But 'the Office' Dispatched Michael Scott In A Crueler And More Final Way: They Made Him Normal. Since We're Talking About Michael Scott, 'normal' Might Be Stretching It, Obviously.

It Takes Only One Bad Amp To Turn Your Ears To Oatmeal: That's How Old Hippies Became Yanni Fans.

Being A Pop Fan Is A Lot Like Catholic Devotion - Lots Of Ritual, Lots Of Ceremony... We Touch The Icon To Enter The Sacred Space, Genuflecting To Reliquaries And Ostentatoria That Make Something Splendid Of Our Most Secret Desires And Agonies.

Our Amour Fou With 'the Sopranos' Is Headed For Long-term Parking, Like So Many Of Its Most Memorable Characters. We'll Never See A Show Like This Again.