Mosquito Bites Jesus, Receives Communion.

A Straw Enables You To Drink Without Using Your Wrist. A Straw Is Your Friend - Until You Lose Eye Contact With The Straw. Then It Will Betray You And Make You Look Like An Idiot.

Americans Who Do Not Celebrate Independence Day: Pets.

If You Want To Make A Mythical Creature, Just Take A Regular Animal And Add Wings To It. A Horse Becomes A Pegasus, A Lion Becomes A Griffin, And A Hawk... Becomes A Double Hawk.

When I Trip, I Feel Like That's The World Saying Come Here For A Second. It Just Pulls Me Closer For A Second, Yeah What Do You Want? I Just Want To Remind You That You're Uncoordinated. I'm Aware Of That, Thank You... Can I Go Now? Yeah, You Can Go, But Never Ever Try To Outrun Me. Ok, World, See You Later. Yeah, I'll See You In About 50 Years.

A Human Head Looks The Least Scary When It Is Attached.