More Bad News For The Taliban. Remember

I Saw Something Stupid In The Paper Today - A New Alarm Clock That Makes No Noise. It's For People Who Don't Like Loud Noises. Instead, It Slowly Hits You With Light And Gets Brighter And Brighter Until You Wake Up. I Already Have One Of Those... It's Called A Window.

It Is Said That Life Begins When The Fetus Can Exist Apart From Its Mother. By This Definition, Many People In Hollywood Are Legally Dead.

John Kerry Announced That He And His Wife Are Leaving On A Week-long Vacation. He's Going To Take Her Back To The Place Where He First Proposed To Her - At Her Bank.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Said There Is A New Credible Terrorist Threat. He Said Everything Is Under Control; Not To Panic. And Then He Went Back To His Harmonically Sealed Bunker.

Donald Trump Says That He Will Not Run For President. You Know Why? He Can't Find His Birth Certificate.