Morals Are A Luxury Of The Rich.

It Has Taken Me Nearly Twenty Years Of Studied Self-restraint, Aided By The Natural Decay Of My Faculties, To Make Myself Dull Enough To Be Accepted As A Serious Person By The British Public; And I Am Not Sure That I Am Not Still Regarded As A Suspicious Character In Some Quarters.

I Would Exchange Every Painting Of Christ For One Snapshot.

You Are Going To Let The Fear Of Poverty Govern You Life And Your Reward Will Be That You Will Eat, But You Will Not Live.

I Find That The Moment I Let A Woman Make Friends With Me, She Becomes Jealous, Exacting, Suspicious, And A Damned Nuisance. I Find That The Moment I Let Myself Make Friends With A Woman, I Become Selfish And Tyrannical.

Telling The Truth Is The Funniest Joke In The World.