Misery Is A Guest That We Are

How Truly Does This Journal Contain My Real And Undisguised Thoughts--i Always Write It According To The Humour I Am In, And If Astranger Was To Think It Worth Reading, How Capricious--insolent & Whimsical I Must Appear!--one Moment Flighty And Half Mad,--the Next Sad And Melancholy. No Matter! Its Truth And Simplicity Are Its Sole Recommendations.

You Must Not Sneeze. If You Have A Vehement Cold You Must Take No Notice Of It; If Your Nose Membranes Feel A Great Irritation You Must Hold Your Breath; If A Sneeze Still Insists Upon Making Its Way You Must Oppose It Keeping Your Teeth Grinding Together; If The Violence Of The Pulse Breaks Some Blood-vessel You Must Break The Blood-vessel -- But Not Sneeze.

For My Part, I Confess I Seldom Listen To The Players: One Has So Much To Do, In Looking About And Finding Out One's Acquaintance, That, Really, One Has No Time To Mind The Stage. One Merely Comes To Meet One's Friends, And Show That One's Alive.

Misery Is A Guest That We Are Glad To Part With, However Certain Of Her Speedy Return.

The Laws Of Custom Make Our [returning A Visit] Necessary. O How I Hate This Vile Custom Which Obliges Us To Make Slaves Of Ourselves! To Sell The Most Precious Property We Boast, Our Time;--and To Sacrifice It To Every Prattling Impertinent Who Chooses To Demand It!