Michael Jackson Has A New Baby Boy;

Oscar Nominations Came Out Today. Up For Best Actor, Sean Penn For 'mystic River,' Jude Law For 'cold Mountain,' And Of Course, George W. Bush For 'iraqi Weapons Of Mass Destruction.'

Today, President Barack Obama Promised To 'detect And Pursue' American Tax Evaders, As Opposed To His First 100 Days, In Which He Detected And Nominated American Tax Evaders.

President Bush Released His Tax Returns Yesterday. He Listed The Economy As A Liability. He Gets To Write That Off.

Big News On Cnn, A Search Has Uncovered Illegal Biochemical Agents, Toxins And Other Dangerous Substances. Not In Iraq, In Rush Limbaugh's Medicine Cabinet.

My Dad's Idea Of A Good Time Is To Go To Sears And Walk Around.