Michael Jackson Has A New Baby Boy;

What's Going On With The Oakland Raiders? You Know, I Don't Want To Say The Raiders Are Bad, But You Know, Now, A Lot Of Fans Are Painting Their Faces Just So They Won't Be Recognized.

President Obama Is Asking Congress To Support A Military Strike In Syria. If They Approve, It Will Be The First Time Congress Has Officially Declared War Since Obamacare.

American Forces In Iraq Found $650 Million In American Cash Sealed In A Hidden Cottage. See, This Is Why President Bush Wants To Invade Iraq, The Whole Place Is Oil And Cash. It's Like Republican Disneyland.

When You Do Late-night Tv, You Do Different Jokes In The Same Place Every Night. When You're On The Road As A Comedian, You Do The Same Jokes In A Different Place Every Night.

The Obama Administration Has Admitted That Under Obamacare, You Might Not Be Able To Keep Your Doctor. At First The President Guaranteed You'd Be Able To Keep Your Doctor, And Now They're Saying You 'might' Be Able To. Today Obama Changed His Slogan From 'yes We Can' To 'perhaps We Could Try. Can't Promise Anything.'