Men Should Come With Instruction Booklets.

Food ... Love ... Mother ... Career ... Live Every Day To The Fullest. Partake Of The Four Basic Guilt Groups.

Small Wastebasket Liners, $1.17 ... Tall Wastebasket Liners, $2.29 ... Garbage Can Liners, $3.98 ... I Think I Just Spent $7.44 Buying Something I'm Going To Throw Away.

So Often, Happiness Is The Extent To Which We Balance Our Grandiose Expectations With Reality.

I'm Lucky That My Real-life Mom Has Both A Great Sense Of Humor About Herself And An Amazing Ability To Slip Into Complete Denial If The Subject Matter Gets A Little Too Close To Home.

Where's My Tax Form? Where's The File That's Supposed To Hold My W-2 Form And Interest Statement? Where's The Mileage Log I Specifically Asked Be Kept Last Year?? Where's The Monthly Check Summary? And Who's Been Stuffing Visa Receipts In The Aluminum Foil Drawer??!! How Embarrassing. I'm Surrounded By Idiots And I'm The Only One In The Office.