Men Are Only As Loyal As Their

New Rule: There Is No Devil, So Stop Blaming Your Screw-ups On Him. Last Week, One Of The Biggest Evangelical Leaders In America, The Reverend Ted Haggard, Was Outed For Drugs And Extramarital Gay Sex With A Male Prostitute. Or As Fox News Reported It, 'john Kerry Hates Our Troops'.

Reverend Ted Haggard's Followers Still Think He's Not Gay. I'm Not Kidding. In Their World, There Are No Gay People. There Are Just Straight People Who Are Sinning. They Don't Want To Do It, But The Devil Makes Them! He Targets People Like Reverend Ted. That's How It Happened. The Devil Got Hold Of Reverend Ted, And Ted Said, 'get Thee Behind Me, Satan! And Put It In, Gently'.

I Feel Like I'm Wearing Orthopedic Shoes, Because I Stand Corrected.

Last Week, I Suggested The Candidates Take Up Mushrooms. I'll Be Damned If Rick Perry Didn't Take Me Up On That.

Ninety Percent Of People Support Background Checks. Which Means Even People Who Can't Pass A Background Check Support Background Checks.