Maybe Somebody Finally Shot The Dog.

I'm Happy To Start On One Topic And End On Another One Entirely, As Long As It's Funny.

Bad Grammar Is The Leading Cause Of Slow, Painful Death In North America.

I Bought Windows 2.0, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1415926, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows Me, Windows Rsvp, The Best Of Windows, Windows Strikes Back, Windows Does Dallas, And Windows Let's All Buy Bill Gates A House The Size Of Vermont.

Hardware: This Is The Part Of The Computer That Stops Working When You Spill Beer On It.

The Ford Falcon Holds The Proud Title Of Slowest Car Ever Built. In Certain Areas Of The Country You Can Go To A Stoplight And Find Falcon Drivers Who Pressed Down On Their Accelerators In 1963 And Are Still Waiting For Their Cars To Move.