Martha Stewart Is Now Under House Arrest.

I Love All These Politicians, They All Say The Same Thing - 'we'll Give California Back To The People.' Yeah, Great, Now That It's Not Worth Anything, They Want To Give It Back To Us.

President-elect Barack Obama Is Starting To Get An Idea Of Just How Hard His New Job Is Going To Be. Today, He Said He Wanted To Bring A Sense Of Accountability To Washington. I Think They Realized Actual Accountability, Never Going To Happen.

As You Know President Bush Has Been Traveling Around The Country Trying To Sell His New Social Security Plan. He Wants To Take Our Retirement Money And Invest It In The Stock Market. He Says Nothing Can Go Wrong. I'll Mention That To Martha Stewart The Next Time I See Her.

Forty Million Americans Smoked Marijuana; The Only Ones Who Didn’t Like It Were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas And Bill Clinton.

It's Cold Out. It's Even Cold In Florida. So Cold Today That Katherine Harris Put On A Third Layer Of Makeup.