Love Is Like The Measles; We All

There Are Various Methods By Which You May Achieve Ignominy And Shame. By Murdering A Large And Respected Family In Cold Blood And Afterward Depositing Their Bodies In The Water Companies' Reservoir, You Will Gain Much Unpopularity In The Neighborhood Of Your Crime, And Even Robbing A Church Will Get You Cordially Disliked, Especially By The Vicar. But If You Desire To Drain To The Dregs The Fullest Cup Of Scorn And Hatred That A Fellow Human Creature Can Pour Out For You, Let A Young Mother Hear You Call Dear Baby "it.

I Saw A Great Newfoundland Dog The Other Day Sitting In Front Of A Mirror At The Entrance To A Shop In Regent's Circus, And Examining Himself With An Amount Of Smug Satisfaction That I Have Never Seen Equaled Elsewhere Outside A Vestry Meeting.

It Is Easy Enough To Say That Poverty Is No Crime. No; If It Were Men Wouldn't Be Ashamed Of It. It Is A Blunder, Though, And Is Punished As Such. A Poor Man Is Despised The Whole World Over.

After A Cup Of Tea (two Spoonsful For Each Cup, And Don't Let It Stand More Than Three Minutes,) It Says To The Brain, "now, Rise, And Show Your Strength. Be Eloquent, And Deep, And Tender; See, With A Clear Eye, Into Nature And Into Life; Spread Your White Wings Of Quivering Thought, And Soar, A God-like Spirit, Over The Whirling World Beneath You, Up Through Long Lanes Of Flaming Stars To The Gates Of Eternity!

Among All Nations There Should Be Vast Temples Raised Where People Might Worship In Silence And Listen To It, For It Is The Voice Of God