Loud Ringing Noises, I've Discovered, Upset Mr.peepers.

I Felt As If The Milky Way, Hovering Above Our Heads Like A Celestial Pitcher, Had Suddenly Overturned, Pouring Suns And Planets Down My Throat. Stars Seemed To Be Shooting Out Of My Finger And Toes, The Ends Of My Hair.

It's What's Known As An Origin Myth. What Happened To Me? That's No Myth.

Look, Mr. Uh, Wulf I Appreciate Your Trying To Warn Me About This, Ireally Do. But There's No Such Thing As Vampires. They're Made-up. We Writers Made Them Up. I'm Sorry We Did Such A Good Job That We Made The Whole World Paranoid, But It's True. They're Fictional. Blame Bram Stoker. He Started It.

Do Not Chase Boys. Chasing Boys Is Bad. Chasing Boys Can Lead To Horrible Things Like Mansions Going Up Into Flames, Hand Amputations, And Blindness. So Have Some Self Respect And Don't Let Things Get Too Far Before The Wedding Day.

Jesse, This Is Craig. Craig, Jesse. You Two Should Get Along. Jesse's Dead, Too.