Lots Of Comics Try Stuff Out All

I've Lived In The Uk For Longer Than I Lived In Ireland. I'm Not Worried About Myself, But It's Ridiculous For Youngsters.

We All Know Smoking Is Bad. I Know I'm Going To Quit Someday, If I Thought I Wasn't I'd Quit Now.

I Used To Live With Two Other Guys. We Used To Cook Two Things. The First One Was Called 'cheese... Thing' And That Was Where You Get Something And You Melt Cheese Over It And The First One To Guess What It Is Doesn't Have To Wash Up. That's Obviously Quite Mediterranean; The Other One Was Less Complex. It Was Just Called 'cheese Fantasy.' That's Where You Come In, Very Drunk, At About Five In The Morning And Find An Apple And Just Pretend There's Some Cheese On It.

I Get A Phone Call Once Every 18 Months From Some Mad Person Who Wants Me To Do Something For Less Than No Money And They Give Me About A Week's Notice. That's My Film Career, Most Of The Time.

The Measure Of A Conversation Is How Much Mutual Recognition There Is In It; How Much Shared There Is In It. If You're Talking About What's In Your Own Head, Or Without Thought To What People Looking And Listening Will Feel, You Might As Well Be In A Room Talking To Yourself.