Look To The Living, Love Them, And

Never Once, During Any Of My Bouts Of Depression, Had I Been Inclined Or Able To Pick Up A Telephone And Ask A Friend For Help. It Wasn't In Me.

Once A Restless Or Frayed Mood Has Turned To Anger, Or Violence, Or Psychosis, Richard, Like Most, Finds It Very Difficult To See It As Illness, Rather Than Being Willful, Angry, Irrational Or Simply Tiresome.

Somehow, Like So Many People Who Get Depressed, We Felt Our Depressions Were More Complicated And Existentially Based Than They Actually Were.

When People Are Suicidal, Their Thinking Is Paralyzed, Their Options Appear Spare Or Nonexistent, Their Mood Is Despairing, And Hopelessness Permeates Their Entire Mental Domain. The Future Cannot Be Separated From The Present, And The Present Is Painful Beyond Solace. ‘this Is My Last Experiment,’ Wrote A Young Chemist In His Suicide Note. ‘if There Is Any Eternal Torment Worse Than Mine I’ll Have To Be Shown.

But Then Back On Lithium And Rotating On The Planet At The Same Pace As Everyone Else, You Find Your Credit Is Decimated, Your Mortification Complete: Mania Is Not A Luxury One Can Easily Afford. It Is Devastating To Have The Illness And Aggravating To Have To Pay For Medications, Blood Tests, And Psychotherapy. They, At Least, Are Partially Deductible. But Money Spent While Manic Doesn't Fit Into The Internal Revenue Service Concept Of Medical Expense Or Business Loss. So After Mania, When Most Depressed, You're Given Excellent Reason To Be Even More So.