Life Is Improvisation. All Of Those [improv]

I’ve Always Been Able To Tell A Lot About People By Whether They Ask Me About My Scar. Most People Never Ask, But If It Comes Up Naturally Somehow And I Offer Up The Story, They Are Quite Interested. Some People Are Just Dumb: 'did A Cat Scratch You?' God Bless. Those Sweet Dumdums I Never Mind. Sometimes It Is A Fun Sociology Litmus Test, Like When My Friend Ricky Asked Me, 'did They Ever Catch The Black Guy That Did That To You?' Hmmm. It Was Not A Black Guy, Ricky, And I Never Said It Was.

The Topic Of Working Moms Is A Tap-dance Recital In A Minefield.

At The Request Of The Catholic Church, A Three-day Sex Orgy To Be Held Near Rio De Janeiro Was Cancelled Last Friday. So Instead I Spent The Weekend Cleaning My Apartment.

When Choosing Sexual Partners, Remember: Talent Is Not Sexually Transmittable.

Will Ferrell Is A Dangerous Man. If He Thinks You're In His Way In Show Business, He Will Crack Your Head Open. He's The Jeff Gillooly Of Comedy.