Life Doesn't Imitate Art, It Imitates Bad

There's Nothing Wrong With You That A Little Prozac And A Polo Mallet Can't Cure.

I Think A Relationship Is Like A Shark. It Has To Constantly Move Forward Or It Dies.

My Gift Was In Comedy. I Found Out I Could Make Jokes. I Could Tell Jokes. I Could Write Them. So Over The Years, That's What I've Done.

Basically I Am A Low-culture Person. I Prefer Watching Baseball With A Beer And Some Meatballs.

With Me; It's Just A Genetic Dissatisfaction With Everything.