Let's Talk About Something Exciting. Me.

It's Not An Act. I Love It. It's Totally Original. People Go, 'what's Going On With This Guy? Why Does He Sound So Weird? What Is Going On In His Brain. I Don't Know. Just One Day I Suddenly Woke Up With A New Brain.

Athletes Become Our Heroes, Because They're Superhuman. They Do Things Nobody Else Can Do. They're Better Than 6 Billion Other People.

I Don't Want To Get High With My Kids, Because Then Everything Is Different Forever. That's So Stupid, I Think.

Touch My Children And I Will Eat Your Hands Off Your Freakin Arms.

There's A Lot Of Stuff I Want To Do, Just Things That I Want To Explore That Don't Involve Show Business. I'm Going To Become A Television Critic. Can You Imagine? But I Would Even Consider Becoming A Baseball Scout. Traveling Around The Heartland Looking For The Next World-beating Phenom.