Laughter Rises Out Of Tragedy When You

Last Year I Gave Seventy-four Phone Hours To Soliciting Baked Goods For The Bake-a-rama. I Was Named Top Call Girl By The League.

When My Kids Become Wild And Unruly, I Use A Nice, Safe Playpen. When They're Finished, I Climb Out.

Like Religion, Politics, And Family Planning, Cereal Is Not A Topic To Be Brought Up In Public. It's Too Controversial.

... It's Simply Wrong To Always Order [kids] To Stop That Fighting. There Are Times When One Child Is Simply Defending His Rights And Damned Well Should Be Fighting.

I Firmly Believe Kids Don't Want Your Understanding. They Want Your Trust, Your Compassion, Your Blinding Love And Your Car Keys, But You Try To Understand Them And You're In Big Trouble.