L.a.'s Large Convenience Stores Are So Big

It's Cold Out. It's Even Cold In Florida. So Cold Today That Katherine Harris Put On A Third Layer Of Makeup.

Well, All Across The Country, This Is Kind Of Sad, Unemployment Offices Are Swamped With People Waiting To File For Unemployment Insurance. It's Gotten So Bad That The Offices Are Overwhelmed And Can't Function. I Got An Idea. Why Don't You Hire More People? They're Right There In Line. Speed This Whole Thing Up!

President Obama Flew To A Rally In Las Vegas Last Night. However, He Did Not Visit Any Of The Casinos. You Know Why? When You're $16 Trillion In Debt, They Don't Let You In.

Gas Stations Are Considering Hiring Security Guards. Why Are They Getting Security Guards? We're The Ones Getting Robbed.

How Many Have Seen That Osama Bin Laden Footage? Pretty Scary. In Fact, Today, Nbc Ordered 13 More Episodes.