Kids Always Act Up The Most Before

Standup Comedians Are Attracted To One Another Because Of Their Faults. So We're All Kind Of Messed Up In The Same Way, And Once I Was Around A Group Of People That Saw The World In A Different Way, It's Like This Is Where I Need To Be.

Right Now, My Job Is That I'm Like An Ambulance Chaser. I've Got To Look For Movies With White Guys Falling Out Of Them.

I Can't Cook, But I Have A Nice Book Of Menus... And I Can Plate And Set The Table.

Being A Comedian Is A Lot Like Being An Athlete. If You're Carl Lewis And You're The Fastest, Then No Matter What You're The Fastest.

I Met So Many People After I Got Rich And Famous, And I Learned That You Can't Ultimately Trust People Unless They Were Your Friends When You Were Broke.