Kennedy Didn't Beat Nixon. Satire Beat Nixon.

You Can Never Make A Woman Happy, It's Impossible. I've Never Met A Happy Woman In My Life. They're Always Complaining About Something.

You Want To Track Hollywood Careers, Look In The Real Estate Section. You See A Guy Buy A House That Costs $6 Million, And You Can Literally Start Counting The Days Until He Starts Doing Crappy Movies.

We Were So Poor My Daddy Unplugged The Clocks When We Went To Bed.

Men Are Handicapped When It Comes To Arguing, 'cause We Have A Need To Make Sense.

Is America Ready For A Black President? Well, I Say We Just Had A Retarded One. When Did Being Black Become A Bigger Deterrent Than Being Retarded?