Kennedy Didn't Beat Nixon. Satire Beat Nixon.

I Don't Think My Comedy Is That Political. It's More Social. But Whatever. When You Make Comedy And You Do Stand-up, You Work Alone. Movies Have To Go Under So Much Scrutiny. A Stand-up Special Is A Vision, And A Movie Is A Consensus In A Lot Of Ways.

All You Crazy White People "i'm American!", All You Did Was Come Out Of Your Mother's Pussy On American Soil. That's It. That's It! What, You Think You're Better Than Somebody From France 'cause You Came Out Of A Pussy In Detroit?

I Used To Have Horrible Cars That Would Always End Up Broken Down On The Highway. When I Tried To Flag Someone Down, Nobody Stopped. But If I Pushed My Own Car, Other Drivers Would Get Out And Push With Me. If You Want Help, Help Yourself - People Like To See That.

I See As White People Finding Loopholes In The Slavery Laws.

Here's What I Knew About Doing A Play: I Knew It Would Make Me A Better Actor.