John Kerry Said Today He Wants To

President Bush Spent The Day Calling Names He Couldn't Pronounce In Countries He Never Knew Existed.

President Obama Signed A Bill Preventing Members Of Congress From Profiting From Insider Trading. Didn't You Think That Was Already Illegal?

Everyone Is So Concerned Now Where All Of The Candidates Are Born. Mccain Was Born On A Military Base In Panama. Hillary Was Born Outside Chicago, And If You Believe The Media, Barack Obama Was Born In A Manger.

President Obama Was In Disney World Today Where He Unveiled His New Plan To Create Jobs. He Was Joined By Mickey Mouse And Minnie Mouse But Not Goofy. He Had To Stay Behind To Tend To His Vice Presidential Duties.

Comedy Is The Only Profession Where Love From A Stranger Is Better Than Love From A Family Member. You Need To Perform For Strangers To See If You're Really Funny. If They Laugh And Cheer, It's The Greatest Thing In The World.