John Goodman Isn't Fat. He's In A

Lick The Alphabet. It Makes You Appear Creative, It's An Easy Diagram To Remember, It's Like "aaaaa.... Beeeee.... Ceeee.

If I've Learned One Thing, It's 'don't Tell The Truth.' Lies Keep You Together.

It Was Great To Be The Rock Comic, The Shock Comic. But After You've Played Giants Stadium With Bon Jovi In Front Of 82,000 People, After You've Done The 'wild Thing' Video With Jessica Hahn And Every Rock Band From Hell, You're Not Gonna Top That.

I Guess My Main Influences Are Jesus, Rock N Roll And Ex-wives. In That Order.

I Got Divorced, Which Was Not A Good Thing For A Revivalist Minister. It Did Not Go Down Well. I'd Already Been Banned From A Couple Churches For My Jokes. So One Day I Woke Up And Decided It Was Time To Start Living For Myself.