Jesse Joyce Is A Great Writer.

You Can Say, 'can I Use Your Bathroom?' And Nobody Cares. But If You Ask, 'can I Use The Plop-plop Machine?' It Always Breaks The Conversation.

So, I Travel A Lot. I Hate Traveling, Mostly 'cause My Dad Used To Beat Me With A Globe.

Capital Punishment, That Thing Scares Me, It Really Does. I Was Talking To My Friend About The Electric Chair, And He Starts Freakin' Out. He's Like 'the Electric Chair? That's Too Good For These People. That's Too Good For Them'. Alright, How Do We Make The Electric Chair Worse? How About This? They Have To Pedal A Car Battery To Their Own Head. Is That Ok? Is That Enough, Mr. Hitler?

Everyone Was Laughin'. Even That Deaf Mute Boy Was Breathing Heavy And Pointing At Me. Which Is Laughter To Their Kind.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend But Sometimes I Like To Pretend I Do. I Just Stand In My Apartment Screaming No, That's Not What I Said!