Jeez Banana! Shut Your Freaking Gob!

I Myself Identify As A Recovering Blockhead. You'd Be Surprised How Many Twenty- And Thirty-something Hipster Chicks Have The Nkotb Skeleton In Their Closet, Albeit Artfully Concealed By Stacks Of Ksubi Skinny Jeans And Ironic Judas Priest T-shirts.

Unfortunately I Don't Live By A Target Now, So I Just Go To A Regular Starbucks As Opposed To A Starbucks Nested Inside A Target, Which Is My Ideal Situation. That Works Out For Me. I Like That White Noise, Those Interruptions, And The People Around Me.

Everybody Knows That I'm Not A Snob When It Comes To Pop Culture, Obviously. I Love Reality Shows.

I've Been Watching 'american Idol' Since Its Debut Season In 2002. Back Then, America Hadn't Yet Evolved Into A Gladiatorial Cybernation Of Bloggers, Tweeters, And Self-ordained Voice Coaches.

Let It Be Said That The Makeup Artist At '90210' Made Me Look Better For The Fake Red Carpet Than I've Ever Looked On An Actual Red Carpet.